Grover, the Evil Goat Overlord!
by oheygracey
Summary: It turns out Luke isn't the only one that wants Percy dead... SURPRISE! Grover turns out to be a very, VERY violent little goatie. Crackiest non-crack ever written. Alternate ending to "The Lightning Thief".


**A/N: **Dedicated to those thought that Luke was a cool character in "The Lightning Thief". It made me sad when he turned into a creeper in "The Sea of Monsters." I couldn't just make Luke completely innocent, but I couldn't just let him stay the same either! This picks up at the very end of the last chapter.

A recap, for those of us who _haven't _just read the book:

Luke has invited Percy to an irresistible offer of fighting off monsters in the woods and drinking Coca- Cola straight from the can. Percy, being the weak-minded, unsuspicious character that he is, joins Luke. Then the story takes an unexpected turn. While under the threat of pit-scorpion venom, Percy is listening to Luke tell his story of how he was helping Kronos destroy Western Civilization.

Sorry for the long author's note. Co-written with my ranter, Lestrange.

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"You summoned the hellhound, that night in the forest."

"We had to make Chiron think that camp wasn't safe for you, so he would start you on your quest. We had to confirm his fears that Hades was after you. And it worked."

"The flying shoes were cursed," I said. "They were supposed to drag me and the backpack to Tartarus."

"And they would have, if you'd been wearing them. But you gave them to the satyr, which wasn't part of the plan. Grover messes up everything he touches. He even confused the curse."

Luke looked down at the scorpion, which was now sitting on my thigh.

He looked like he was about to say something else, but all of a sudden he looked up.

"You!" he yelled over my shoulder. "What are you doing here?!"

I turned around. There, emerging from the trees in the direction back to camp was Grover, calmly trotting over to where we stood. "I would ask you the same thing, Luke, but I just heard your story. It's time you hear mine."

I would've been so relieved that he was here, to witness the scorpion killing me so that he could tell Chiron what happened after Luke left me here dead. But what he had just said made me confused.

What was he talking about?

Luke smiled. "Go on, little goat boy. I'll humor you before I summon a pit-scorpion to kill you, too."

Grover was smiling too, but it faded as he started speaking again.

"I did not confuse the curse. I wasn't even aware that Kronos was rising, plotting against the gods to ruin our Western Civilization. So now it appears that we have two major opponents to fight against for world-domination.

You demigods are so ignorant. Not as ignorant as those filthy humans, I'll give you credit for that. But you always think that there are only two kinds of rulers for this planet: the gods, or the Titans. Have you ever considered the alternatives? The other options that might be gaining power while you constantly fight with the most obvious?

Us nature-creatures have always seemed somewhat harmless, unable to take control of the power that the gods and Titans are fighting over. However, that is not the case. To this very day, Pan and his warriors have been plotting against the gods for two-thousand years."

I had no idea what he was saying. What was he talking about?

Pan wanted power? Then it sunk in: Grover had been supporting Pan all this time. He wasn't really looking for him.

The "lost god" had already been found and was trying to remain lost to his advantage. The advantage of surprise.

He caught my eye, and his smile widened as he continued.

"We satyrs agreed with Pan that the thought of Kronos being another problem was ludicrous. It would never happ-"

"But apparently you were wrong," Luke interrupted. "You accuse us of being ignorant, just look at yourselves! You're right to say that you nature-protectors are harmless. Taking power from the gods was already a challenge for Kronos; what does Pan have?"

Grover merely waved his hands at the trees, the ground, and the plants. "Isn't it obvious? He has the whole Earth at his feet! The wild is dying, yes, it is sad, but true. That's the whole reason Pan's trying to take control. The humans are killing our earth. It's time we get rid of them."

"Whoa, hold up," I stuttered, too shocked to control my voice from cracking. "Why the hell is Pan trying to dominate the world?"

Grover addressed only me this time when he spoke. "We've cooperated with you dirty, nature-ruining humans for much too long. Trees are being cut down every day, the world is suffocating with polution, even the stars are disappearing. Don't you see, Percy? Pan believes that every last human must be executed just for existing. Isn't it agreeable that humans are destroying everything we live for?"

"Grover," I whispered in fear. "You ca-can't just k-kill everyone!"

"Pan cannot do this alone. It will take the strength of numbers to accomplish this task. I have pledged myself to this cause, very much like Luke has done so with Kronos."

I was suddenly angry. Who did Grover think he was?

"So you're being brainwashed, too?" Luke winced at my statement.

"Not exactly. Pan has given us the choice. If we join him, great. We might have a chance of becoming his right-hand man, er, goat I guess. If not, we'll just be murdered along with the rest of the mortals."

All of a sudden, something made itself clear: Grover was talking about mortals, not just humans. And I was definitely mortal.

Grover swallowed hard. "I don't have to kill you, Percy," he said gently. "Or Annabeth. Or any other half-bloods. As long as you pledge yourself to Pan, you'll be spared."

I didn't like the sound of dying, but I didn't like the sound of murdering every human on the planet, either. I had to get to Annabeth or Chiron somehow and tell them what was happening so Grover could be stopped.

Grover read my emotions. "Oh, the others are waiting for you outside the forest so that you can join them in my speech about the future. They know that something's going on, but they're not quite sure what."

I had a slight feeling of hope. If possible, I had to get to Chiron and take control of this situation. "Then tell Luke to call off the bug," I'd almost forgotten about the scorpion still resting on my leg. Luke snapped his fingers and the pit-scorpion fell lifeless and unthreatening at my feet.

"I'm still humoring you, Grover. Once you've informed the campers, Kronos will make sure that Pan and his armies are taken down in this war," Luke promised.

"I'm sorry, Luke, but Kronos's ego will not convince me of _will _be eliminated."

"We'll see," said Luke. "We'll see."

Grover started trotting back to camp. I followed him, and Luke walked behind me as if to make sure I wouldn't run away.

When we were out of the woods, Grover had been right. The entire camp was packed together, including Chiron and the many-eyed security guard Argus. The crowd fell silent as we emerged, their confused stares burning into our faces.

"Fellow campers," Grover yelled so everyone could hear him. "I come with news. You may decide whether or not it is great."

Grover told the same story he'd told to Luke and me by the creek. The campers were silent as he spoke. After he was finished, Chiron was the first to speak.

"Grover…" he said. "This is completely absurd!"

Grover grinned, ignoring him. "And now…" he said. "Which of you will join us, and which of you," Grover gulped, looking nervous for the first time since I'd seen him. Indecision flashed across his little goaty face. "Shall die?"

There was a moment of indecision. The campers murmured amongst themselves. After the crowd had fallen silent again, it was unanimous. No one would join Pan's cause.

"Now," Grover said. "Raise your hand if you will join us." No hands were raised. Grover would be going back to Pan empty-hooved.

"Well," Grover smiled a sinister grin. "If you won't help us, then there's no use for you to be here at all."

That's when I noticed the circle of nature-creatures closing in around us. Nymphs, naiads, dryads, and satyrs were all holding weapons of some sort. Arrows, knives, long branches. Some even held guns. However, all of those weapons were unnecessary. One small satyr carried a match. Of course, I had to notice _now _that we were all standing on gunpowder.

"You won't get away with this," Chiron said. "The gods will stop you!"

"Oh, they might, but they probably won't. Either way_, you'll_ never know."

I finally couldn't stand it. Here was my best friend, telling me that he was about to kill everyone I cared for. Including me.

Grover clapped his hands. The young satyr dropped the match.

I heard screams of terror.

There were many points during my life that I thought I was going to die. But never had that actually happened. Until now.

The last thing I saw was Grover, laughing hysterically. My best friend had killed me in cold blood. He was no longer the runty little goat I used to know and love. He was now Grover the Evil Goat Overlord!

Then everything went black.

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**Excuse the insanity.. ;P**

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